Day 50 - and it feels like YEAR 50

Well, perhaps not THAT bad.... not quite.

I think I made a mistake with starting the diet on a Monday.

The problem is that we tend to be good during the week, and then we may just have a slight cheaty-bit at the weekend. Monday comes and I have to tell Jan that the scales have broken - again. Mind you, she agrees that if they're broken for me.........

So, today comes - day 50 - and the scales are broken again.

I think I'll take my weight on Thursdays, because on Thursday of last week they read 18 stone and a quarter of a pound. Tantalisingly close (4 ounces) to 17 stone something. 17 stone ANYTHING would be good; I haven't been 17 stone something for two years. What was my weight this morning? 18 stone 4 POUNDS, not ounces.

AND I'D JUST HAD A POO! Dammit!

So, here we go, back to the water, back to the strict regime. But it could be worse; today is a veg day so at least we can look forward to having a salad this evening.

Cor! Comes t'summat, eh lad, when I look forward to having a ruddy salad.

But, realistically, Day 50: Achievements.....
1. Lost over a stone (well, I had on Thursday of last week) in one-seventh of a year.
2. I can walk a great deal a) easier, and b) further than I have been able to for a couple of years.
3. My fat fighs (thighs) are less fat and don't rub together at the top causing me intense pain.
4. I walk more upright.
5. My hips don't hurt as much.
6. I puff MUCH less when doing anything.
7. My calves have reduced in size so that I can now put me wellies on.
8. As booze is patraken less often, me liver's not so knackered as it was.

So, all in all, I'm a reasonably happy bunny. Now, where's me salad leaves.........?

I won't complain - MUCH!






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Day 36 - an' me scales 'ave broked.

Me scales must 'ave broked cos they now read 18 stone 7 lbs.

I mean, what reason have they to read that weight when I 'as bin so good?

Ok, I know that on Tuesday night we celebrated a little bit because Jan's first performance went so well....and on Friday we went for an Indian meal with the cast after the show....and then there was the after-show party on Saturday night....and then there was a neighbour's 50th birthday bash on Sunday afternoon..... and evening. So there's little or no reason for my weight to have INCREASED!

Is there?
Ok; so it's back to the grind. I've been so good today that I think I deserve a pint or two.
No such luck. It's back to the water - and be grateful for it.

Anyone want a set of incorrectly reading scales?

Day 34 and still counting....

Day 34. Seems like week 34.



Some regimes are suited to some people, others to people who can't stand the pace.



I'm not sure that I'm cut out for this one; it is too rigid for me.



NO spuds.

No fruit.

No rice.

No booze.



'Protein only' days are a killer, but the rigidity of the regime is self-defeating for me. You are simply NOT ALLOWED to have some foods. At all.



I won't go too deeply into what the 'NO FRUIT' rule has done to me. Suffice to say that I was regular three times a day before I started; now I'm lucky to be unregularly three times a week if I'm lucky. Thank goodness for Holland & Barratt Aloe Vera Colon Cleansing tablets. And they've probably got an ingredient that I'm not supposed to have. At least they ease the feeling of shitting a tree trunk..... complete with branches.



A friend keeps telling me that her WeightWatchers is easier - it's probably more person-friendly. One reason for agreeing to Dukan was the free ability to snack on certain foods, but I'm not sure that that was a good enough reason. Anyway, it's a 'Mastermind Job'.... I've started so I'll finish.



I have achieved 18 stone 3 lbs now, 2lbs from a stone lost - and that's only because we've cheated somewhat due to the show and the effect it had on our days. The show (Separate Tables, Rattigan) was a great success and Jan had a great time doing it; but now it's back to the PP and PV days in strict rotation.

Day 29.... dammit!

Well, it's four weeks and one day since the start of this regime.

29 days.

No booze (except for the booze I've had).... no lamb (except for one rack split between me'n'the missus - and it was lovely)..... but I have to confess that I'm still the same weight that I was last week.

18 stone 4 lbs.

Dammit.

So it's been worth it. But now it's back to the slog. Ok, I'll accept that.

A really nice protein & veg dinner has been chickem breast sliced horizontally into two pieces and simmered in chickem stock, with baby leeks (from the allotment) cooked in with the chuckie, and carrots (allotment) chipped into oblique rondelles (cut at an angle).

Tonight, the missus came in from the first performance of 'Separate Tables' at our local theatre.... and she'd remembered her lines, so we celebrated with a small G&T (but hers was smaller than mine). I think we have been quite restrained, as today I was given a lovely bottle of 1999 Fleurie.... not a wine to be underestimated or easily dismissed. Fleurie is a French village that has a lovely road running through it, with centrally mounted fountains, feratuires and all sorts. It's a very rich village in Burgundy and very much worth a visit. Anyway, we haven't opened it yet and won't until my second stone vanishes.

.....that'll be about 2013!

Ok, back to the slog. A pure protein day tomorrow. What will I put before my lovely missus before she goes on stage.......? Tuna on Dukan gallettes, perhaps?

Day 8 - start of second week...

Monday Feb 7

I HAD A SALAD TODAY!

I never thought I'd be so pleased to have a salad.

That four pints of water I had last night had its effect today - I managed a painless poo!

I had a cold salmon salad at lunchtime and then a turkey escalope salad this evening - cor, I is a lucky feller!

I'm a bit pissed off that I don't seem to have lost any more weight for 3 days. It must be down to me, but I can't think what I'm doing wrong. It'll probably start again soon. I sincerely hope so because I'm not stayin' off the booze for nuthin' !

I'll probably make the next entry in this story of gentlefolk and weight loss next weekend. Have a great week.

Day 7 - one week of Dukan....

I didn't get the hat made. Costumes were always a problem for me.

Seven days of Dukan. Still 18 stone 10lbs, but that's 5 lbs less than we started with and half a stone less than I was 10 days ago. That can't be bad.

We went to the Chinese New Year celebs.... a fair excuse for a piss-up; except that we're not allowed any. That was ok, we just drank water. I drank four pints that evening.

The Chinese food was great. Ken, our neighbour did a brilliant job of it; it was just such a pity that we could have so little of it ourselves. Never mind, I'm pleased that the weight's coming off. It was a fun evening though - they didn't start taking the piss out of me until quite late on so I got away relatively lightly for a change.

We got back home quite late so this posting is being done about 20 hours later.

Day 6

Day 6, Saturday Feb 5.

Bella D.Dog got me up much too early and I fell asleep on the sofa for an hour or three.

Breakfast was oat bran porridge. Not bad, but you must ensure that you eat it whilst it's warm - if it goes cold it sets like concrete. Hmmmmm..... perhaps that's what's happened inside me.

I have ensured that I have had all my litre and a half of water today because Friday I didn't and suffered today for it. I thought I was going to have to be drilled out. If there is a problem with this Dukan thingy for me, it's being blocked up. I am used to nipping in for poo number one adfter puttiung on my boiled eggs - and being back before they are timed out. Today? I could have done roast spuds with the time I was in the loo. And it was not pleasant - it hurt. I almost reached for the Mr Muscle Drain Unblocker.

If you do the Dukan diet, DRINK LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS OF WATER is my advice. And keep a bottle of syrup of figs handy too.

Still no booze. None since Monday. That's bad enough, but according to the book, I might not be allowed any until the end of June. It's only just February.

Yeah.... right!

Still, Monday should see us having a few veg (yippeeeeee) with our low-fat everythings.

Looks like another problem might be occurring too - fish breath! As if I haven't enough problem with me arse bricked up.

Apparently it happens with all protein-rich diets. I didn't think I'd fallen foul of it until I was told. Buggrit!

Ok, lets buy shares in toothpatse & mouthwash manufacturers.... But whatever the problems, I'm still 5 pounds lighter that I was on Monday morning.

We have a celebration of Chinese New Year tomorrow evening. Lots of booze and some interesting oriental food. We're only drinking water and we are gonna be severely limited as to nosh. Not my biggest problem though; my chief difficulty is making a Chinese hatfor the costume!

Anyone help?

Day by Day by Dukan - sounds like the name of a new book!

Day 5; Friday 4th Feb 2011.

18 stone 10lbs. That means I have lost 5 lbs since Monday morning.

Hips are hurting less - but that could be just down to more exercise. Whatever it is, I'm glad, as I didn't like them hurting like that.

Still difficult 'going', but not quite so much as it was.

That oat bran and skimmed milk makes a passable porridge. Jan discovered that a while ago. I agree.

Prawns for lunch. Nice cream lemon dip..... fat-free yogurt, chopped fresh herbs and grated zest of lemon . Don't put much lemon juice in though or it'll be too tart. It's great with poached salmon.

Back to the galettes again this eve (yawn) but with swordfish steaks and the lemon dip.

I'm still drinking my water, but I can't truthfully say it has been a litre and a half today yet. We're going to a Chinese New Year celebration on Sunday eve where the beer will be flowing like water..... and I'll be on the water. not the beer... Dammit. Still, we'll be able to have a little food on Sun eve as the following morning we start the second phase of the Dukan Diet - The CRUISE phase.

I don't think it'll be such a 'cruise' as the book suggests. However, we'll be able to have veg for 5 days out of the 7 in a week. Not spuds, rice, corn or any of the other starchy veg. Or peas. Or avocado (I know; it's a fruit). At least I can have my steamed sprout. I'll be on this phase for between two and four months, until I get to my target weight; 15 stone nuffin.

I missed my 5 o'clock club - BUGGRIT! I could hardly walk down to the Crown and have a cup of coffee, could I? I might be able to have one next week. But that'll be it. One. I'm not going to mess up the whole diet for an extreme glug of San Miguel on a Friday.

So, into the weekend we go. Let's see what happens.

When in the Cruise phase I will probably not blog every day; probably week by week, but it will still be open and truthful so that it is a genuine representation of one person's attempt at weight loss using this book-based eating plan.

Happy weekend to you.......

Day 4

Half-way point in the 7 day 'attack' phase.

.....and I've BEEN!

....It was about as slow and painful as being in an M25 traffic jam with Chris Evans on the radio.

However, leaving all of that behind me.....

Day 4. Boiled eggs for brekky, pig's kidney for lunch and beef mince & onions for dinner; I've survived the day. I think that my afternoon walk with the dog was a bit short but I had been making lots of kitchen cupboard doors during the morning so, with luck, that may make up for it a bit. More water will have to be consumed before bedtime, but that's not a problem. I'd prefer it if the water had been through the brewing process though.

Dukan-wise, an uneventful day. No great pangs of want or need, no gazing longingly at the only can of beer in the fridge, no nuthin' really. My difficulty is, however, that at 5pm tomorrow I would normally be at The Crown, one foot on the rail, dog by my side, relating to other sad sods about my week whilst downing copious quantities of amber fluid. And I can't do it. I can't even go down there at that time because it'd feel quite bizarre with a cup of black coffee replacing numerous pints of San Miguel. Buggrit.

Never mind; I am losing weight, and I'm saving the beer money. Not that Steve, the landlord, will be pleased about that; he'll just remind me when I see him next that so many village pubs are going to the wall and that I could be part of his downfall.

The thing is that I agree with him.

So, the only comment I can make at this time is that I'll be glad when this protein-only 'attack' phase is over (on Monday) because I'm starting to make sheep's eyes at the bag of frozen petits-pois and becoming quite orgasmic at the thought of a wonderful 8-minute steamed Brussels sprout.

Hey-ho.

Day 3 (logically)

It seems that a couple of our friends started the Dukan on the same day..... they didn't know we were and we didn't know they were!
It's getting to be popular.

Day 3 started with fat-free yogurt and oat bran and a hard-boiled egg. Ok. Jan had a sort of porridge made with milk & oat bran. Perhaps I'll try that tomorrow morning, to avoid having eggs.

I seem to have lost a couple of pounds - I am 18 stone and a lot rather than 19 stone and a little. If I could just go to the loo I'd lose several pounds at one 'sitting', so to speak.......

I am keeping to the required water intake; with the resultant 'peeing for England' effect, and I have been completely off the booze since Sunday. That fact alone should tell anyone who knows me that I'm serious about this weight loss business. Surprisingly enough, I'm not actually missing the beer that much. I'm amazed. I think that when it comes to Friday afternoon at 5pm it may be a different story - The Crown has a really nice 5 o'clock club when the beer price goes down...... and the beer goes down as well. I'm gonna miss it this week, I fear.

Anyone thinking of doing this Dukan diet should definitely read the book thoroughly first. It's not that interesting - no-one gets killed and you start off knowing who did it. However, reading the book gives all of the little bits of information that you'll need to know. It really does have to be taken seriously because those people who simply eat all protein without doing the other bits will not just be constipated - they'll be ill. The diet makes good scientific sense if all of the statistics quoted are correct, but if it's not done right there could be a build-up of all sorts of toxins; uric acid being just one.

Lunch was a good amount of Tesco's finest smoked mackerel. And lovely it was too.
I kept being reminded how nice lunch was for all of the afternoon, dammit.

Galettes were on the menu this evening; now there's a change. Pan-fried (with an oil spray of 1 calorie) smoked haddock topped the galettes and I put together a sauce of f/f yogurt, quark and a little milk, flavoured with dried dill and fresh parsley. It needed to be seasoned quite heavily, especially black pepper, to bring the herbs to the fore. It all went down quite well. I scoffed the other couple of galettes afterwards. I will have to do something magic with lean mince tomorrow. And I'll try to leave off the galettes - somehow.

I'm hoping for some movement of the scales tomorrow morning (before or after a certain other 'movement' I really don't care) to give me some encouragement. Jan has lost a few pounds. Perhaps she's doing something I'm not. Or not doing something that I am and shouldn't be. Anyway, Bella D.Dog was happy with the longer walk this afternoon.

Ok, that's me done for today, now, where are those crab sticks.......

Day 2

Tuesday 1st Feb.

It'd be nice to be able to go to the loo.

Well, the most problematic thing is to think of how to make an interesting evening meal with only protein. I'm happy to sit down to a lump of meat, but to do it for the missus as well is not easy. We had steak in the freezer, so that was fine, but what with?

Gallettes! Three mini galette type pancakes and a bit of whole-grain mustard in fat-free yogurt did the trick.

I didn't do as long a walk on day 2 as day 1, so day 3 must be a biggie. Bella D.Dog will be pleased.

It'd still be nice to go to the loo......

Day 1

I'm Colin Muddimer and it's the last day of January 2011.
I just turned 60 on the 16th of the month.

19 stone 1 pound and aching hips after a few hundred yards.
When I think about this fact I find it amazing that at the age of 16 I was cycling over a hundred miles every Sunday just for a training run. What happened?

44 years happened.

11 stone happened.

I was 10 stone when I started as a teacher in '76 at the age of 25. Arrrrgh!

I have never had to 'diet' before and so I am looking forward to the experience like a hole in the head, but, having seen what Chris, our very good friend has achieved since he started last September, I'm almost happy to give it a go. He got shut of 4 stone by Xmas.

I was always one to say "If you don't put it in your mouth, it can't make you fat...." but I was ignoring the difficulty of not putting it in my mouth. Now I know.

19st 1lb. Bugger!

Just a week ago I hit 19st 4lb - the heaviest I've ever been.
BMI of oh-cor-blimey and about 3 tons heavier than I should be.

So here goes. No, I'd rather not be doing it. I'm gonna miss the booze and the butter, not to mention the biscuits. It's gonna be a long haul, but, if my progress is anything like Chris', well, I'll be over the moon.

My target? A sensible 15stone. I could try to get back to 10 stone to be as thin as when I was a rookie teacher, or back to 11 stone in '80 when I married for the second time but I'm not that stupid. 15 stone will be fine.

4 st 1 lb. That's what's gotta go.

I am intending to keep this blog up to date so that anyone else trying this unconventional and somewhat controversial regime may read what it is like at any stage.
I don't know if it will be successful - I hope it will be but.......

My lovely wife is trying to do the same, so at least we'll have each other for support. She has nowhere near as much to lose as I but she is as resigned as I am to experience success.

But this blog will be about how I feel and how I am progressing. The pangs of withdrawal from Friday's 5 o'clock club at the local pub and other luxuries will be laid out in real terms so that others may not be surprised by how things go when they try Dukan.

And if I fail, it will be included here. But I won't fail because if I fail I will continue to get heavier and someday someone will poke me with a pin and I'll go POP!

TODAY..... DAY 1.

First thing - scales. 19 stone 1 pound. Well, I was 3lbs heavier a few days ago, so that's 3lbs less to lose.

Breakfast. Hmmmm. Normally have either cereal (not allowed), bread or toast (not allowed), crumpets or English muffins (not allowed) or boiled eggs (allowed). However, I am going to try this Dukan thing of fat-free yogurt sprinkled with oat bran... sounds yummy (not).

Ok, so it's not that bad. Chris has the oat bran on fat-free fromage frais - sounds just as appealing to me but I couldn't get any when I went shopping so f/f yogurt will just have to do. And drink water... must remember the water. I have a litre and a half to guzzle today, so I'd best start early. Tea's fine too. Several cups.

During the morning I drink more water. Come lunchtime I'm not that hungry, surprisingly. Two pig's kidneys de-cored and pan-fried (well, pan-cooked anyway, as I used one of these spray oil things to oil the pan) with onions and plain water. No veg; not even a single petits pois.

A bit of computer work and then take the dog (5 month-old Springer) onto the airfield for a run. She can run; I'll content myself with waddling. I look forward to the day when I can at least march again - running's orf! My plan is eventually to ride my bike around the airfield perimeter and Bella can run next to the bike. Just at the moment the thought of getting on my bike fills me with dread. 19 stone on a lightweight aluminium frame....? Anyway, it's too bloody cold.

I suppose I walked (and Bella ran) for about 25 minutes.

More computer work and then it was on to dinner. Jan had taken a very Dukan-friendly lunch with her and was still surprisingly well sated when she came back at about 5. I aimed dinner at 6 as we were due to be out by 7. Pan-poached salmon steaks, Dukan gallette comprising 4 egg-whites, 1 whole egg, a little f/f yogurt, 5 tablespoons oat bran and the skimmed milk from the paching all mixed up and (again) 'fried' to a thick pancake. Added to that 'fried' red onion with the flaked, skin-free salmon and a couple of conichons. And water.

Out to auditions and back at 10:30. Jan had a little more salmon with yogurt and bits (all permitted) whilst I contented myself with fat-free quark rolled into low-fat ham rolls. And water. And tea.

This 'attack' phase is set to last until next Sunday; a period of seven days. I decided that I couldn't manage with a 5 day attack as I need to lose so much. So, let's see what happens. In the book, which it is necessary to read and digest BEFORE you start the regime, says that I should weigh myself each day. Dunno. Might do, might not.

Anyway, Day 1 done and noted. Other days won't involve so many words, I hope.

Onwards and....... downwards (hopefully).